A funny thing happened to me on the bus yesterday...

Hi again,

I was just reading someone elses blog when I remembered something that happened yesterday - and I wanted to share it with someone and with Jamie away and out of mobile phone reach - you guys are it!!

Yesterday (Friday) I left work around 5.45pm after standing around at Friday night drinks with a glass of water (hey I wanted to go swimming, alcohol and the pool never mix - and I want to do 7AFD's) chatting to a few friends for 45mins before I headed off to the gym. I decided to have a go on the rat wheel as I like to call it (AKA Cross Trainer) after Lyn (Powerof+thinking) inspired me, then I jumped on the exercise bike and rode 15mins flat out before heading down stairs for a quick shower and then 15mins of laps in the pool.

Anyway - thats not the story...

So I walked from the pool to Oxford Street to catch my bus. At 7.15pm ish the busses arent that frequent - about 15-25mins apart. I was there only 3 minutes when my bus pulled up. The driver only opened the back door and 5 or so people got off. Myself and another lady were waiting to get on but all he did was motion through the window that the bus was full and he couldnt let us on. From where I was standing, there was heaps of room - he just had to ask people to move down (plus in my experience, at that time of night half the bus gets off at the top end of Oxford Street to hit the pubs so I knew it wasnt going to be crowded for long). Anyway, I dont know why I did it, but I yelled out 'come on, there is plenty of room'. He looked at me then opened the door and said 'well OK, but I am breaking the rules'. Well people saw us get on and they moved down so we were standing well within the safe zone (not on the red lino!!) and then as I guessed, half the bus got off at the next stop. The other women thanked me for speaking up - she said she never would have said anything, just waited for another bus. I said 'thats OK' but is got me thinking.... Would I have ever spoken up 3 months ago when my self confidence was so low? No I wouldnt have. The bus was a horible journey for me most of the time. I was always the last person to have someone sit next to me (cos lets face it, I took up more than my fair share of the seat) and it always made me feel self concious and to be honest, an utter loser. 14kgs gone and I am never the last person to have someone sit next to me now - unfortunately, that has gone to someone else (never the same person twice obviously, I dont religously catch the same bus) but I have always noticed that its the biggest person on the bus who has the seat next to them empty the longest. Once I tried not letting it bother me, thinking it was great because that was less time I had to have someone sweaty rubbing up against me - but I knew the sweaty person was most likely me.

But anyway - back to the point. I have so much confidence now. Just little things like this make me so much more aware of how I act now and how I am not affraid to hide in the shaddows or use humour to make people like me. I am more likely to state my opinion in public now and I am less likely to be treated or spoken to rudely. I am standing up for myself instead of feeling like it just doesnt matter. It does matter. I just needed to remember that.

Wow, 2 points in one day. I'm on fire! Good night!

Just 3 weeks until my holiday starts...!!! Oh boy!

I think I jinxed myself last time I did this, so I am doing it differently this week to make sure it doesnt happen again!!!

I have 3 weeks (well 3 weeks yesterday) before I leave for my holiday and thats also 3 weigh ins. It got me thinking of how I can best make use of this time and maximise my ability for results before I leave. I'm not really thinking too much about while I am away as there are too many factors (eg I am unsure of what I will be eating in Egypt, if I'll like it and the really big factor, the likelyhood of getting a tummy bug!) but before I go I would really like to make the most of my weightloss potential!

I decided than rather come up with a 3 week action plan which didnt really work last time, I am going to take each week at a time, but I am going to be more detailed about each week.

So my first week started yesterday and goes like this:
* NO more than 21 points (core) for the week.
* Exercise daily - min 21 points for the week.
* NO alcohol for the week.
* NO lollies, chocolates or cakes for the week.
* Min 4 CORE only days for the week.
* NO overdoing the foot injury, find other suitable exercise.
* Watch portion sizes.

Now my big scale plan for these three weeks is to get under 70kgs by the time I leave on the 19th December. I currently weigh 72.7kgs, so I have 2.8kgs to make me 69.9kgs or less. I know it seems a lot, and I know it looks like I am depriving myself, but I am not. What I want is to look and feel my best for my holiday - that means so much more to me than a few lollies or glasses of wine in the next 3 weeks. I am doing an active tour of Egypt and I am not going to be the person that slows our tour group down - I am going to be fit and healthy so I can enjoy everyone of the experiences I face in Egypt & United Arab Emirates. I am going to have awesome photos which I wont be embarassed or ashamed to share around.

This is truley important to me and thats why I want to give it my all now!!

Weigh in day and feeling the effects of the big swim!

It's weigh in day today and after my eventful week I am not holding much hope. My own scales are indicating 400g, and to be honest I would be really happy with that - it would take me to 14kgs total in 15 weeks. Oh well, fingers crossed and to be honest - a loss of any sort would be perfect - I am determined not to gain!!

The last time I posted I talked about my first attept at water aerobics. Although it was a great workout, the next day I wasnt sore at all - and was very pleased with this!! That was Tuesday night. Wednesday night I decided to go for a swim. I felt like I was playing with the big kids in the big pool!! Although I used to be a great swimmer, I wasnt sure how I would go swimming in a 50m pool and was worried I would hold everyone up - no need, I was fine and in fact I even overtook a few people. I swum for 30minutes and in that time I did 20 laps, thats 1km!! I was really pleased and quite proud of myself!!

Thursday night and I went along to Aqua Aerobics again. I met Nicole at the class on Tuesday and she said she'd be back on Thursday - well she didnt show up! It didnt matter, I decided to give it my absolute all during the 45min work out and enjoy myself all the same. I have to say, although I love the concept of deep water aqua aerobics, the instructor and music is less than motivating. I will keep going but I will be pushing myself to give it my best! I am feeling a bit sore today in the shoulders and I am not sure if it was from the class last night, the fact I swam for 15mins before, or even the swimming the night before that! Oh well, I guess its a good thing to be sore, really means you worked your muscles.

I am back now from my weigh in and I am pleased to report a 300g loss. It wasnt the 400g I was hoping for, but I reminded myself that it was now 2kgs over 2 weeks and thats a great effort!! It did mean I didnt make my GWEN challenge - I fell short by 700g but overall, I had a stellar 4 weeks, including my injury time. It also means I have now finished at 13.9kgs at the end of my 15 weeks - just short 100g off an even 14kgs! Oh well, I will be rounding up thats for sure!

Anyway - thats all from me. I might jump back on this afternoon to make a plan of attack for next week. Jamie is home Wednesday - woo hoo! Fingers crossed he doesnt recognise me :)

Deep water aqua aerobics

After righting war and peace last night I realised i didnt say anything about my aqua class I went too...!

As I said before, I wasnt feeling into and was still worrying about feeling sorry for myself but posted on the boards and got some very much needed inspiration and was reunited with my mojo...!

I went along not really knowing what to expect. I paid my entrance fee and was plesantly surprised with the facilities of the Cook & Philip Park pool.

6.30pm came and the instructor walked out. I saw everyone grabbing a belt and I remembered someone saying make sure you grab a belt to help you float. Initially I was thinking I wouldnt need it as I am a pretty strong swimmer, but I figured there was a reason everyone else was wearing them - and I wasnt wrong!!! It's to stop you drowning haha!! the main reason I was drowning was because I was laughing so much - I must have looked so silly! It was funny! I started talking to another young girl around my age and found out she is here in Sydney for work for 4 months and doesnt really know anyone. We chatted and laughed the whole way through it and in the end made it a deal to meet up again on Thursday night. Without her, it might have been a bit boring (the music was less than motivating) but I actually had a great time. When I got home my arms were really feeling it! I thought I was going to be in worlds of pain today, but I actually feel OK. When 'flexing' my muscles, I can tell I've had a good work out, but relaxed they are fine.

If anyone is ever thinking about deep water aerobics, give it a go! It was great fun as long as your willing to laugh at yourself!! Cook & Phillip Park in Sydney CBD run classes Tues & Thurs 6.30pm and also Sat & Sun 10am. I'll be there every Tues & Thurs and I am also going to try and go to Sunday morning also.

I'm back in the zone, and I love it!!!!

An injury, some inspiration & some big thanks....

I have been meaning to post here for the last couple of days, but with limited mobility and a busy workplace, I just havent found the time...

Let me take you back.... (Close your eyes, oh wait - dont, cos then you cant read!!).

Saturday - crappy weather but a whole lot of mojo...
About 2pm the clouds parted and the sun shone. I said the magical words to Penni and next thing you know we were off on our walk / jog. This jog, I love it. When I first started, it took me an hour and quarter. I got it down to 55mins, then added about another kilometre onto it. I got it down to 45mins on Saturday, and I didnt stop once (ok, once to pic up dog poo, but that was it). I was on a natural high. Slept great that night too.

Sunday - more mojo than ever before...
Woke up with a bit of foot pain. Mainly when I walked up or down the stairs. Made an affort to limit stairs. Weather was worse. Again, around 2pm the clouds parted and Penni and I were off again. This time I added more to it. About half way around or jog I felt my foot start to ache a bit while running over some uneven ground (tree roots in the park). I didnt care, I was on fire!! I kept running. Got home 50min and 4 seconds later (can you tell I am competitive - I time to the second!). Nearly colapsed, realised 50mins is a long time to jog. Didnt mind, downed a bottle of water, jumped in the shower then spent some much needed time on the couch relaxing while the dog snoozed in the corner. 4pm came, decided to head to Westfield for some shopping. About an hour into perusing the sales in Myer, severe pain. Made a quick purchase then headed to Coles. Started to know I was in trouble. Got home, sat down for 15mins. Couldnt get up. Couldnt walk. My foot was about 30% bigger than the normal one and black. Iced it. Elevated it and took some nurofen (hey I am also a volunteer for St Johns Ambulance, so I knew what to do). Cried for a while, then a bit longer, then took myself off to bed after a long hobble up the stairs!

Monday:
Ouch. Still bruised, still swollen. More nurofen, and a bit more ice. Posted on the daily Core chat that I was feeling sorry for myself and knew my running days were halted for a while. Didnt really want to pay money to see a Physio (nothing against them, my friend is even a physio) but I knew what I had done wrong, I knew what I had to do - but I was hoping that maybe I was wrong. And was alsop a bit scared that it was worse than I had thought. Made an appointment and got a very handsome young guy called Mark. Well youngish, but nice and polite and very cute, made it all a bit easier anyway haha!! Told me pretty much what I knew and said he was pleased I was doing all the right things - except I shouldnt have gone on Sunday (yeah, I know that - heindsight is my friend!!). Told me that I needed to stay off it. No walking, no more than a block. Definately no running, no kicking, no flexing my toes, no ballet, no nothing. He wanted to see me on Thursday after the swelling and bruising goes down and if it doesnt, them I'll be on crutches (pleased to say its looking much better so fingers crossed).

Now here is where the update finishes and my feelings and silliness kicks in. I felt so 'robbed'. I cant describe it in words really. I was gutted. I had put so much work in over the last 14 weeks, I mean my jogging time and distance was just one thing. I had also started to crave my jogs, and crave my big long walks with Penni. We both loved getting out, especially when the weather was nice. One day we set off walking, came back 2 hours later after walking through more than 8 suburbs! I also know that my walking and jogging time was totally mine. I switched off, and since having that time, I have become a more relaxed and calmer person. I knew it was gone, and I knew I had been overdoing it. I was angry at myself, disappointed and I was also in a lot of pain.

Monday afternoon I went shopping. On the plus side I was fitting into clothes 2 sizes smaller than I had been wearing. On the boards people were giving me some great advice, Cherryripe reminded me that I needed to watch my portion sizes more than ever. I thanked her because without her saying that I wouldnt have given it any thought. That night, I still didnt. I went back for seconds, and then even cooked a potato in the oven for some chips. It was all CORE, but I didnt care.

Tuesday. I found somewhere that did deep water aqua fitness classes and I thought OK, I can do this. Lunchtime came and normally I'd have gone out for a walk. Instead I went with a friend to a bar for a glass of wine and lunch. I did chose a salad (mind you, I'd hate to know how much sweet chilli sauce was on it)... and only had one glass of wine, not 3, but still. Came back feeling more sorry for myself and decided I wasnt going to go to aqua. I was going to resign myself to the fact that I was going to gain weight at my weigh in on Friday and basically give up for a week, or 6 depending on my foot. I posted on the WW boards at this time because there were cupcakes, clices, friands and muffins in the staff kitchen and although I wanted to give up, I didnt actually want to eat that food, that was going overboard so decided to keep my hands busy and my mind off the delights in the room next door...

Lalapurple (Jen) - I dont think I've read you on the boards, but thank you for finding my mojo. And giving it back :)
Chelseapop (Leanne) - Thank you for that challenge. I accept. And thank you for not letting me make excuses.
Powerof+thinking (Lyn) - Really? I dont think I've ever been anyones inspiration. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am in control, thank you for reminding me of that.
Maigan - I am going to print that list and put it on my fridge. A photo would never work with me wandering, but that list will. Thank you.
Panorama-A-Set (Cherie) - Post before you pick. Good sentence. If that works for you, I am willing to try it too (its that or ban all the bad food in the world!!!). Thank you.
Anoka (Annie) - you have become one of my favourites. I hope you dont mind me saying this - but I feel like you are my mum on here. You always say the right things and make me feel better. Thank you for making me feel like I can do anything.

OK thats it for tonight. I have written something way too big, longer than I intended. But I just wanted to get it all out. And thank you agin!!

Good night :) xx

Crappy weather.... And an exercise addiction?!?

It's raining, and it hasnt stopped all day. According to the BOM website. it was only supposed to rain in the morning. Well they got it wrong.

I feel really disappointed to tell you the truth. I dont know if I should just put on my running gear, a hat and just go - but I dont want to end up getting a cold, not this close to Christmas and my holiday. To make matters worse, Penni is following me around the house and looks at me as though it is my fault she hasnt gotten out for a walk or run yet. Pen - if it wasnt raining we'd have been out by now!!

I guess another reason I am kinda bummed about it is there is a whole heap of stuff I always say I would like to do - eg go to a movie, buy some new clothes, finish my travel journal from my trip to Japan in May, go and sit at Gloria Jeans and drink copious amounts of green tea while people watching - but all these things I say I never have time for. And now I have no excuse, but I actually dont want too - it seems I would rather sit and hold out for a break in the rain to go for a jog... Am I crazy?!?! I think I have become addicted to exercise. I feel really low and miserable when I cant do it. Sometimes I am tired or lazy, then something kicks in and I just have to go. I very rarely miss a day of doing something - in fact it would have to have been maybe 6-8 weeks ago. I love doing something, whether its going for a big walk, riding my bike or trying to beat my time on my jogging route - I have to do something.

OK - here is my action plan. I am going to go for my jog and get wet no doubt. Come back for a hot shower then go shopping. I might actually drive to Westfield - the first time in months. Normally I walk, do what I have to do and walk back - around 30mins each way. I might even take my travel journal, find a coffee shop and write, or maybe I'll go see a movie. I might even buy some new clothes - or maybe just some new tea (my indulgence!!).

I have just told Penni to get ready and anyone would think she's just won the lottery! Oh dear, I just looked out the window and its getting darker. I might just have to jog on the treadmill instead - and break her heart. Damn rain.

I'm back and just wanted to tell everyone I went and jogged! I didnt get rained on but it was windy! I decided to jog further than I normally do and today it took me 50mins exact (well and 4 seconds!). I did feel like I was going to collapse when I stopped though! Nothing a rest and a cold bottle of water couldnt fix!! 6.5 bonus points for me for the day!

The good, the bad & the ugly...

So today was weigh in day. Yay, I love weigh in day, I love the little reward for all my hard work in the fact that I am so hopeful and usually always see the figure on the scales less and less each week... (Although I've stayed the same 3 times, I am yet to have a gain and I also plan to keep it this way).

And this week I was rewarded with a 800g loss, inspite of eating 30.5 points but probably more to do with the 47 exercise points I earnt... Today was incredibly hectic at work, meetings, 2 women leaving, one of my teams having an offsite which I had planned and co-ordinated... So I went to my weigh in, lost, then had to begin my mad dash around Sydney for this team offsite. At the end of the day I had arranged to have some wine/beer and party pies and sausage rolls delivered. Well, here's where it all came undone. We were outside in the sun, laughing, joking and having a good time when someone handed me a beer - it was opened and I didnt even think about it, just drank it like habit really. Then I was handed a sausage roll. Then a pie and another sausage roll. Then I had a snack size kit kat. Argh. So far today I have had 13.5 of my 21 core points and broken my no alcohol chalenge, despite going well for 14 days with no problems, today was a problem. Feeling a little bit peeved at myself for forgetting my challenge and giving in with no sign of even contemplation. Oh well, I know I can bounce back, I am still aiming to my GWE Nov challenge of weighing 72kgs, so thats a loss of 1kg I need next week. I am going to get more than 47 bonus points this week for exercise and I am not going to add any more points to my core total (except that I am going out to dinner tonight, so after dinner no more!!).

Argh! Silly Brooke!!!

By popular demand... I introduce you to Penni!

Well here is my little girl Penni.

Penni is a Labradore x Poodle x Smithfield and she cost me $20 out of the local paper in Launceston... Best purchase money could ever buy.

These are the only digital pictures I have of her as a puppy and even here she is around 5 months old .
(bad break up and the bas*^#d deleted all my pictures out of spite)...

Check out that smile :)

This photo is a few months old now, but here is Penni, still smiling.
She's nearly 5 now (in January 09).

Never underestimate the power of a dogs love. They really are mans best friend and Penni is mine.
Penni has been with me through everything. A bad relationship, a new beginning, moving interstate, new relationships, bad and often ugly relationships, more new starts, hot summers, wet winters, new love and now a wonderful happy life. The whole time, shes not once lost that charming smile, or ever held back her love and affection. Those ears are better than any kleenex tissue when I've needed to cry. Her heart is purer than any human I've ever known. She is my great love.

She is flying home to Tasmania for her summer holiday while Jamie and I are away over Christmas. She is a favourite at the local kennel and is treated with just as much love there as at home, but I think 5 weeks by the beach with my family is as much of a holiday as we are having!

(Jamie knows if I ever had to make the choice, he would lose out).

Going sober for 30 days...

When I was a kid, we used to have an electronic game which used to shout "Challenge, Challenge, Who Do You Want to Challenge?" I cant remember the name of the game now, but whenever I hear the word challenge, this is the first thing I think of... Anyway - useless info that was...!

So I decided to really kickstart my weightloss ready for the Christmas party season after a really big night back on 5th November. The day after my big night, the day before my weigh in, I realised I was getting to old for that on a school night and decided to go a whole week as punishment with NO alcohol!! I was soo hungover that day! Well I did better than that, I went that week, and didnt even struggle. I have found a new friend in soda water and sparkling mineral water! So I decided to do another week and thats nearly over now (finishes Thurs night with my weigh in on Friday). Reading the online WW forums, I found Alison was willing to commit to another challenge and Annie has also decided to kick in for a week (a weigh in week, not a calender week). So this is it - an official no alcohol for me challenge - end date 27th Nov, although to be honest I am going to stretch myself to go right through to 4th December. I've got a special dinner planned and a nice bottle of wine to accompany (when I can finally decide on a restaurant!!) for the night of the 5th to celebrate Jamie being home - this time for a whole year! Woo Hoo!!

Wish me luck everyone!

My 3 week action plan (into week 2 now)

When I made my 3 week action plan, I had 3 weeks until Jamie was home (well plus a few days). I am now into week 2, having passed week 1 with flying colours!! That resulted in a loss of 1.7kgs for the week. I really want to get to 72kgs when Jamie gets home, but even better would be 71.6kgs - making it a total of 15kgs!!! I should say I have 1.8kgs to go in the 2 weeks (or 2.2kgs for my ultimate goal of 15kgs).

This is my plan:

Week 1 was:

*no alcohol & no lollies/choc/cakes

* exercise everyday

* CORE only 4 days

Week 2:

* no alcohol exercise everyday (even with TTOM this week)

* Beat last weeks 41 bonus points!

* CORE only 5 days

Week 3:

* 3 glasses of wine at the races (if I go, if not - nothing)

* exercise everyday

* CORE only 6 days (tricky!!)

* Beat week 2's bonus points!

I have never been as motivated as I am now - not for anything ever :)

My birthday - 9.9kgs down

I love this photo (professional photographers can do wonders hehe!)!

This is after a few champers, at a Breast Cancer fundraising ball at Luna Park, Sydney. We were lucky enough to be invited by one of our clients at work so we enjoyed the whole night complimentary!!

Wednesday 29th October, 9.9kgs down!

Again, I wasnt too worried about what I ate or drink that night - you only turn 27 once! Plus I was so careful all week with what I ate and exercised as much as I could in preperation for the night! It must have worked, I weighed in 2 days later on Friday and lost another .7kgs taking me to 10.6kgs - I was over 10kgs and feeling great!

My friend Nat is a great girl. She agreed to come to this event with me on my birthday so I didnt have to wollow at home on my own (Jamie was and still is away). We had a great night!

One of the highlights was meeting Libby Trickett - she was such a lovely girl and the body - wow, amazing!!


Arriving and given a glass of champers on arrival! Doesnt get any better than that! The cardigan is a bit daggy, but it was a bit cool in the wind.

Cairns weekend - 6.8kgs down!

I said good by to Jamie on 17 September after having him home for 3 weeks. When he left I had lost 3.8kgs. I flew to Cairns on 3rd October to meet the ship again and spend another glorious weekend playing tourist!! Poor Jamie, he was looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend, but I had him up every morning going for a jog, walking as much as we could and we even hired bikes one day leaving the car at the hotel and riding around Port Douglas all day! I was determined not to worry too much about what I was eating and drinking, make healthy choices but I wasnt tracking. But I was also determined to exercise!! See proof above :)

Jamie's ship left and I had a last final day on my own. I decided to go Sailing and Snorkelling off Cairns - out to Green Island. This was the best day of my life - I had so much fun. See the same green dress above, under it you can see my pink swimming top. Yep - 6.8kgs gone and I could fot back into my old swimmers! I was feeling so good that day - I didnt mind walking around in my bathers in front of people, my confidence was sky high! I weighed in just before I flew out that Friday - and I had hit 79.8kgs - I was under 80!! Nothing was going to crush my mood!

This pic is taken at Cape Tribulation, part of the Daintree Rainforest. I look a bit scared as there were signs all around warning of crocodiles in the mangroves...! I like this pic because, look I have a waist!!!! Its just starting to show!

A couple of 'before' photos!

This photo was taken at my parents in Tassie on July 26th. I always take lots of photos when I go home and upload them to facebook... Not this time. I was shocked and mortified when I saw this picture in particular. Its a crop - for the sake of my brother and sisters I have taken them out of this photo!!

I knew I had to do something about my weight then, but it took me a little longer to do it. I still look at this photo and cringe. I have no idea how much I weighed at this time, the scales didnt get a look in for quite some time.

This photo was taken at the sunset market in Darwin on August 10 and I am still wearing a blue bathing suit under my dress. I flew to Darwin to meet Jamie while the ship was in dock and hearing all about the heat, as well as the awesome watering holes, I took along my old swimmers which I hadnt warn since maybe March in Sydney. As Jamie and I were getting ready to go swimming, I put on my bathers, or tried. They were shorts and a top and I couldnt get the shorts past half way up my thighs. I wanted to cry. Jamie, sweet as he is, took me straight to the shopping centre to by some more. I went into a surf shop and looked at everything. They had nothing that would fit me - partly that was my fault as I was deluded and kept asking staff for size 14. After nothing fitted, I left in absolute embarassement. I ended up going into Big W and finding this pair of 'shape' bathers - bright blue and black, size 18. It took a lot of convincing by Jamie to get me to swim that day - the heat helped. If I wasnt so bloody hot, there was no way I would have gone in.

I joined Weight Watchers 5 days later - Friday 15th August.

Starting weight 86.6kgs.

Shocked, upset, disappointed.

Motivated, ready for change, determined.

My first entry

I'm not even sure if anyone will read this - but I am trialing this as some kind of new online diary - see if it will help with my mood and feelings etc!

So what can I tell you. How far back do I want to go? I guess I can go into that as I go...!

Whats going on with me right now... My priorities at the moment are improving my diet and fitness and losing weight, as well as getting ready for my holiday to Egypt and United Arab Emirates in December!!

Jamie has been away for practically 18months, but this time since September. He's home on 3rd December (just 17 sleeps to go!) and I am trying my hardest to lose as much weight as I can by the time he gets home. I want to knock his socks off when he sees me! The last time he saw me I had lost 6 maybe 7kgs - now I am up to 12.8kgs gone! My aim is to lose another 1.8kgs by the time he gets home, but I would love to have lost 2.2kgs - taking me to 15kgs! But thats probably just wishful thinking :) But I will keep trying...!